Call it 3:30-itis

"The best way to enjoy your job is to imagine yourself without one"

-Oscar Wilde

I think in this instance I'd have to disagree with Wilde, I think if people took his advice they wouldn't go to work on Mondays, they'd go surfing every day and apply for the Dole. I love the outdoors nature of my job, sure you're dirty and exhausted by the end of the day but it always feels like a worthwhile expenditure of effort. However when we're not in the field I sit in an office from 8am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. It's terribly pathetic of me, considering I've only had this 'office-based' job for 6 months but I already can't stand the monotomy of dragging my butt all the way to Perth every morning. Imagining myself not having to do this would be like imagining chocolate makes a woman thin. It doesn't, this kind of thought process would only result in me getting fat from being un-employed and eating chocolate all day.

The word 'office' stems from the Latin word Officium which had various meanings in Ancient Rome, including "service", "(sense of) duty", "courtesy" and "ceremony". If these defintitions are supposed to apply to todays office environment I feel they're sadly lacking. My sense of duty extends to having my lunch in front of the computer screen every second day, I like to think I'm convincing my collegues that I'm efficiently working and eating but really I'm just browsing anything that takes my fancy. During lunch 'break' today I compiled a list I feel like sharing.

Things I Loathe about the Office;

1. The temperature is always sub-zero so you have to literally wear a jumper and scarf in the office then sweat through every layer of clothing as you leave the building to buy some lunch.
2. Being West Perth where secretaries look like models I can't wear comfortable, sensible converse sneakers instead I must wear womens 'court' shoes, surely designed by Chinese men they create blisters on blisters and have a habit of slipping off at the most inconvenient moments eg. as I'm jay-walking across traffic or walking in front of the bosses office.
3. There are only 6 people in our office so the near un-bearable silence sets my nerves on edge all day.
4. There are no open windows, air is circulated via a large air conditioning system which leaves your skin dry and oily simultaneously and makes me paranoid about Sick Building Syndrome (SBS) or the T-virus being released in our building.
5. My office tasks are so boring, repetitive, mundane, mind-numbing and of such little import I feel like asking my boss if they wouldn't prefer a monkey.
6. Despite the apparent silence or maybe because of it office politics is like an ongoing season of Survivor.
7. My neck and back ache from constantly vegetating in the office chair, sometimes I wonder how long I'd need to sit there before my buttock molded with the furniture?
8. The cookie jar! How it jeers at me every time I make a cup of tea and through a mighty strength of will resist sampling it's sweet contents.
9. And finally the futility of looking forward to 5pm because let's face it, tomorrow morning I have to get up and repeat the same process.

"Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Now this sounds more like it. Sitting in an office all day feels like a fermentation process. I think of all the things I could be doing and learning, why shouldn't I read more classics and finish some art and craft. These skills are being neglected. My health is being neglected. In March this year the Sydney Morning Herald released an article that said;

"Evidence that sitting for prolonged periods of time is bad for your health is mounting. It has now been linked to premature death, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity and some cancers."

Whilst an article in the UK Telegraph a couple of years ago stated;

"Workers (in the UK) spend almost 60,000 hours sitting at their office desk during their career, drink 32,000 cups of tea or coffee and make 110,000 phone calls"

Well apparently everything causes cancer these days but the others are worrying. Maybe I am just a complaining worry wart and should learn to build a bridge, at least I have a job! Now I've all those moral-crushing feelings out in the blog-o-sphere I'll endevour to stop brooding on them. Thank you blogger!